Now I'm back in Utah, trying my best to NOT make plans and enjoy this time to be still.
A few projects for my wide-open summer, in no particular order:
- Make a queen sized quilt. This is obviously just a sketch, but I'm thinking a giant mosaic of fabrics for the flower petals. More details to come. Promise.
- Finish reading Eat, Pray, Love... I'm not going to lie, its been a bit tricky.
- Utilize my sweet new Seven Peaks Pass (Thanks Aaron)
- Enjoy life. i.e: Justin Bieber concert with the lovely Nimmo girls
- And finally, compile a series of essays. I've got about 6 or 7 so far, and I'm sharing one of the more recent ones, right here, right now. I'm kind of nervous, but I feel like its something I'm bound to share at some point. So here it is:
I spend a lot of my waking and sleeping hours processing the foremost issues and questions of my life; they change with time and situation, but consume my thoughts all the same. Which school should I go to? Where do I want to live? Who should I be dating? What should I major in? How do I overcome this hardship? When will I know what should come next? The most vexing times come when you’ve narrowed down your options down to just two. Then it becomes an endless tennis match in your mind. (The ball being your poor brain in this metaphor, being smacked to either side of the decision in a fairly methodical and regular manner. At which point your heart and stomach get involved. Heart feels bad for the wracked Brain, so it chooses to take on some of the pressure, and aches with the weight of the decision. Stomach feels uneasy with all the unrest in Brain and Heart, and recruits the rest of the Body to feel uncomfortable as well.) Full-fledged war has been declared on you as an individual as you contemplate any specific decision.
Day in and day out I can be asked my position on the issue at hand and in raw honesty I can answer that I’ve decided to stick with option number two. But don’t worry… ask me again in five minutes and I may have already switched back to number one. To top off all of this turmoil, I am trying maintain a semi-productive and worthwhile life that I already have running. It wasn’t until I realized I was hurtling myself into another slough of projects to distract myself from my current predicament, that I stopped to think what God would have me do. The answer came quietly: Be still. I vaguely recollected a conference address that I had either read or heard from President Monson in which he quoted a hymn.
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea
Or demons or men or whatever it be,
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean and earth and skies.
They all shall sweetly obey thy will:
Peace, be still; peace, be still.
It wasn’t a solution to my burning questions, nor was it an immediate fix for my situation, but it was exactly what I needed. As long as I am directing my life with the guidance of the Spirit, and the love of a Father and Savior, I will not be swallowed by the waves of my adversity. So now I am going to close my eyes and embrace this moment. The time has come for me to be still, and know that he is God.